Let me just start out by saying, I've dated 11 different guys in 4 years. There, I said it. And I'm not proud of it. Every time, I said "This guy is great! I know I just dated this other guy a few months ago, but this is different!" Most of the time, he turned out to not be so great of a guy. But sometimes he did, and it just didn't work out. I always told myself I wasn't a "hoe" or "slut" like high schoolers would call it, because I didn't do that stuff. The thing is, I dated enough that I got enough names behind my back. People make fun of me for it all the time. And I know they're kidding around, but it honestly kind of hurts. And I feel like I'm a hypocrite because of it. I mean, I've dated a lot of guys. But I still think I'm this good girl who loves God.
I do love God. But I've realized that I am just a high schooler and I don't need the stress of a guy weighing me down. My heart is so used that I almost have nothing left to give. And right when I realized that, it hit me. I need to give my heart to God and let Him mend and heal it. I don't want to end up finding the guy of my dreams and not be able to give him my heart because I've already given every last bit of it to other guys.
God tells us to save ourselves for our husbands. And if that means for me, not dating until God shows me who that is, then so be it. God pursues me in every way and much more than I have ever wanted a guy to pursue me. And I need to wake up and realize that that is all I need for now.
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