So I hold here in my hand an iPhone with about 100 entries in my "Notes" app. I've been writing in it while I'm on the go since about October 2011, junior year. I think I'm going to post a handful of these just to show y'all how far I've come.
"Having a relationship with God doesn't last if you just sit back and do as you please. Just like a human relationship, you have to be faithful and work at it." November 16, 2011
"Do not be afraid, just have faith.
Lord, give me the courage I need to be faithful to you. Let my love for you and for other people be so great that my fears will never be able to keep me from doing what is right.
In all these things, I know that I am never alone because you, God, conquered sin, despair, and even death through your endless love, a love that showed itself through Your Son. I am convinced, Lord, that nothing will ever separate me from Your love." November 28, 2011
I write songs as well. Well....more like poems that I can never decide on a tune for. I know I don't have a talent for this, so bare with me.
"You are the reason for every star
The sun and moon reflect Your glory
I'll look above and see where You are
Each burst of cloud tells Your story
Why do I even complain
How great Your mighty and name
You're the only light I'll ever need
I stay up late and read
The great wonders of Your name" January 10, 2011
A lot of hard things happened after this.
"You brought me out of darkness
My pain was too much to bare
Everywhere I looked
I never saw You there
My mind was far too scattered
Your Word was never read
I called myself Your daughter
But this is what You said
(chorus)
My child, you are not alone
I know your hectic life
Read My Word and realize
It'll take away your strife
I'll heal your broken heart
And sooth your worried mind
It doesn't matter if you're despised
I find you one of a kind
You're my God who conquers all
And I've seen all You works
Somehow I keep doubting
But I'll still praise You when it hurts
Crying out for attention
I seek a man with much charm
But when I feel my heart broken
I find myself in Your arms
You say,
(chorus)
You're always there
You'll never leave
You always care
I'll just have to see
That I am not alone
You know my hectic life
I'll read Your Word and realize
It'll take away my strife
You'll heal my broken heart
And sooth my worried mind
It doesn't matter if I'm despised
You find me one of a kind" February 26, 2012
"Inadequate
Unworthy
Hypocrite
Unwanted
Taken for granted
Depressed
Fake
Angry
Lack of motivation
Worthless
Undesirable
Unattractive" April 19, 2012
"Take me, God. Use me. I want to be Your blank canvas. I want to know what You have in store for me. Don't hold back. Use all of Your power to change me and move me. I want to feel renewed and whole again." July 18, 2012
"What if what I think is great is great, but it's not as great as something greater?" August 10, 2012
"Humility. If you don't have it, you're gonna get it." February 19, 2013
"Feeling worthless. Am I not enough for guys? Am I just some hideous beast? When I date a guy, the relationship lasts for way less than I wanted and when I try to talk to a guy, he doesn't answer. I just feel so awkward and creepy and ugly and worthless" May 12, 2013
(Honduras happened)
I went on to list qualities I wanted in friends and in a guy and I've stuck to those standards.
"There's nothing more we need than a clear word of God for our souls.
Changed lives are attractive to a lost world.
Repentance is always good news.
Salvation is incredibly and intimately personal." July 28, 2013
I wrote a post in April 2012 about all the things I thought about myself. I've decided to write a new post doing the same thing.
"Beautiful
Child of God
Awkward
Motivated
Persistent
Hopeful
Trustworthy
Not perfect" October 6, 2013
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