Honestly, I'm Dumbfounded

I'm usually a really upfront person. I don't sugarcoat things. Usually, it's not on purpose. I don't have a very good filter. But that last post? I never told anyone about that, and I decided to go on a limb and write a post about it. To the whole world.

Let me define the whole world. Almost 100% of the time, the only people who read my posts are other Christian college bloggers and my parents. I can legitimately count everyone on one hand and have fingers left over.

So that's why all of the publicity on my last post leaves me dumbfounded. I got nearly 300 views, 4 shares, and 22 likes on Facebook. Okay, that might be nothing to some people, but to put it into perspective, the runner up for most popular post was 51 views, 0 shares, and 2 likes on Facebook.

I never realized how opening myself up to people could bring so much support and love. I've always assumed it'd bring judgement and hatred. Because, honestly, that's what most of my life has been like. The people who've surrounded me for the past 18 years have acted that way when I'd share a struggle. And you know what I realized? I was surrounding myself with the wrong people. And it was awful. I had no one.

And now here I am, with hundreds of views and countless people messaging me with support and encouragement. I'm so good at swallowing my feelings and emotions, but here I am on the verge of tears. Happy tears.

Because of all these amazing people in my life (that's means you!), I am finding even more worth in myself.

You guys are amazing!